Dreams

So for the last two nights I've had dreams of being raped. Different scenarios and not at all emotionally draining, but does make me wonder why?

Plans for 2010

I guess it is time for New Years Resolutions: blah!!!!

The only three resolutions I'm going to make is:
1. Do what I've always said I'm going to do, but never did. (ie lose weight, go to Alaska, go to Italy, finish my Bachalor's Degree)
2. Live for the day, but also plan for tomorrow.
3. Cut the things that are not good for me.

That's pretty much it for my New Years Resolutions. I'm going to follow what my bestest, smartest, and most wonderful friend said: "this is a New Year, New Decade, make it the best one so far!"

I know that these resolutions are not going to be easy but I think I'll manage. I may even do all three of them. We will see next year how well I did!

Eye Doctor

I have an eye doctor's appointment tomorrow at 10 am, so why am I awake at 1 am? I don't know. I have to get contacts tomorrow because if I don't I will lose $150 worth of savings. So I have to spend $10 to save $150, does that make any sense? What is our healthcare coming too? Buying in excess so we don't waste. URG!

Merry Christmas!

Hanging out with family and having so much fun!

Relationships

I know, I'm posting a lot here, but this is what I've been thinking about and I finally am writing it down. So I found out a week ago I like this boy. Now I'm freaking. I didn't know that I liked him until my co-worker and good friend Kim told me, "I think you like him."

I said, "no!"

She replied, "you talked about him all the time."

Well, it turns out I like him, who knew? Well, Kim did (but I didn't). Now what am I going to do? I don't know. The last time I LIKED a boy was five years ago, and he was gay.

What the hell do I do now?

Too fat

So I tell my mom and sister that I lost two more pounds and my mom had to chime in, "That's it?"

I told her coldly, "that's two more pounds, for a total of 9 pounds. I don't want to lose more than two pounds a week so I'm at my goal." Sometimes my mom is not supportive and pretty cruel.

Precious

So this weekend my parents wanted to see a movie, and we talked about Avatar, the Blind Side, and Precious. So my mom asks, "What's Precious?"

So I tell her, "it's about a girl moving up, getting an education," and I give her the back ground of the sad story. Then I add that her father rapes her.

My mom sai, "only this ugliness happens in America. In the Philippines maybe it's the stepdad but it would never be a close family member." My sister and I quickly denied this, both knowing she's wrong.

If only she knew, right? Should I have told her then? Or is keeping my mouth shut still the right thing to do? I don't know why it hurt me so much when she makes comments like that, but oh well. Life sucks sometimes, I will do what I always do and get past it.