Thursday, July 30, 2009


How do you break the news? How do you say something that is true and hurtful? Do you bury it? Or do you own up to it? I am so open about somethings, except when it hurts people I love.

I wonder

I am grateful for my life, every up and ever down. I love what I have: my health, my friends, my family, and all that. I wonder though, what might have been. Where would I have been if I allowed myself to love (and love completely)? Would I be like my sisters? Would I have kids? Would I have had my heart broken many times? Or would I have found the love of my life? I have questions, but then I remember I am strong, independent, and doesn't need love to complete myself. Even knowing that I wonder.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Stock Classes

I am excited about going to the stock class. I'm kinda nervous going by myself, but in an excited sort of way. A part of me feels like I will meet people like me, who has taken the jump and want to invest and do business. We will see how it goes, but as of right now I am excited.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Hanging out with Mariane

Watching Gilmore Girls, hanging out with Xaiden, eating Rice Krispie treats delicious. Yummy, yummy! My writing block is also almost gone. Very good day.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I think I have a crush with this sweet man, a semi-serious crush. I don't know what to do about this. Oh well, I will just have to see where this is going. I'm not sure if I like him or am just attracted to him. It could be a mixture of the two, it is too soon to tell.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

No Doubt

No Doubt was soooo awesome! I loved there concert! I bought a T-shirt and a $5 soda, and it was sooo fun. Hang out with my sisters was so much fun. It makes me want to go to other concerts like Nickelback, Toby Keith, and Brad Paisley.

This is there last song, the encore. I love No Doubt.

It was so crowded and the atmosphere was the best.

Waiting between the Paramore and No Doubt, what to do but take pictures of ourselves.

The Paramore is a great band, damn it (I have to get there CD and new CD).

On the drive to the Sleep Train. This is when we all have our make-up still on.

I can't wait for my next concert!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Peaks and Valleys

I just got a new books called Peaks and Valleys by Spencer Johnson, M.D. The author from Who Moved My Cheese? What I read so far is amazing.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Writing Stories

My story is doing well. I have been writing a little bit every day. It is going slower than I would like but hopefully I will be done in 5 years. LOL and j/k. I hope to have my story done by the end of 2010. I am striving to do everything I planned to do in the future. My ten year class reunion is coming up. I don't want what is on my list now to be on my 20th class reunion. We will see how it goes.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I love Joss Whedon

I think I am on a Joss Whedon kick. This weekend I watched all of Season 7 of Buffy, 5 episodes of Angel season 5, 2 episodes of Buffy season 1, and all of Dr. Horrible Sing-Along Blog. Now all I have to do is watch Firefly/Serenity, and Dollhouse. Hmmm, Dollhouse. I need to buy it soon.

Serenity is the best movie ever.

I need to get my Firefly season back, soon!


I'm not sure if it is the chase or a commitment phobia thing, but either way I have noticed once I get a person interested in me my feels dissipate. There has been a few times when wasn't the case, but it is the norm.

It is very possible that right away I know that the boy or girl I am talking to is not the right person for me. I meet this boy/man who is into business but once we made out it was like no. I am so not interested.

I think, I put myself out there and I let the boy/girl take the lead, but if they reach a certain point (which they always do) I stop liking them. I think, sometimes I want someone who puts the stops and I don't have to. I have never had that, and I guess I am waiting for him/her.

I want someone who likes business, Joss Whedon, who didn't vote yes on prop 8, and anime. I think, I am too picky but at the same time I know I will meet the right person. I feel it deep inside me, and I know I haven't meet that person yet.

I am trying not to let my committment phoebia lead me, but the more I try to stop it I think I don't have a problem, I just haven't meet the right person. I'm going to still give people a chance but I am pretty sure I haven't meet the right person, or the person isn't ready for me.