I am excited, happy and joyful that my best friends have found great boyfriends! I love that they are happy, and have someone special.
A small, really small, seed inside of me wonders what it would be like to have a real girl/boyfriend. One that is not friends with benefits, a one night/week stand. Someone to call my own.
I don't think I'm ready, I think I will hurt the person who tries. A part of me is still broken. Not really from being raped, it is more like that I saw how relationships have destroyed people I loved. How they have good lives, but not the extrodinary they could have had.
I want the extrodinary, I want the dream. I want to be in love, but a part of think thinks I will lose my dreams. I love my dreams, and until I meet someone with the same dreams I think I will fight. I think I will still be broken.